Spiritual Birthday

Tomorrow is my Scorp Daughters 10th Birthday! Birthdays are important, for the person and for the families, especially the mother.
They remind us that we have been given another year in which to serve, fulfill our contract and process some of that seemingly never-ending karma.
Your birthday is an opportunity to look back and see how to refresh your agreement with the Universe. Why are you here? Never a better time to look at it than when you are blowing at the candles.
So I take this opportunity to look at what I have learnt since I birthed this amazing child 10 years ago.

1] Milestones don't matter! By the time they get to 10 nobody cares about when they walked and when they talked, they all do it eventually and when they are ready.

2] Loneliness is curable. Don't be afraid to stalk other women in the local shops with children, chances are they are stalking you too. Adult conversation is important and necessary, be the first to smile and chat, you have something in common, your children!

3] Sounds and letters. Teach your children the sounds and the names of the letters, this will make reading very easy when they start in Prep!

4] Mothering is a relationship not a job, there is no one appraising you, so relax. Don't worry if the dishes aren't done or there is food on your top, your baby thinks you are the lovely. I am a big fan of the whole family having a day in their PJ's occasionally and eating toast for dinner! Call the authorities!

5] Kindness is a gift! The moment I realized my daughter was incredibly kind was the proudest moment of my life, I swear. Being kind is so much better than anything else you your possibly wish for them.

6] Your order has arrived! You get the children you are supposed to learn from. I would never have guessed I would get a daughter as amazing and resilient as she is, much more so than me, we learn from each other everyday.

7] Take a snapshot. I view parenting as creating memories in which the child looks back on when they need to feel special or need to solve a problem or need to cope and so on. It's a giant database of moments to draw from when needed. So I give variety to the database. I don't sweep difficult emotions under the carpet in our family and I celebrate every achievement big and small. Kids need to understand that sometimes life throws some curve balls at you and hopefully you know how to duck!

8] Not everything begins and ends with school! I always tell her, it not the mark you get but how hard you tried in the act. It's the act that is important, the rest will follow. She is not going to learn anymore Maths when she does homework, but the act of homework teaches her about focus and concentration and finishing things, all good stuff in my opinion! Don't worry about the teacher for Grade 2, or school ground politics, you cannot fight your child's battles in the school ground, just help them see what is actually happening. The bullies are the most tormented ones, helping my child see that these kids have crappy lives sometimes and they take it out on other kids has helped her to become more empathetic and understanding.

9] Write all their funny words and sentences down, you will forget, trust me!

10] The power of the baby wipes! These really are amazing, they can clean anything from any surface. I take them everywhere now, not just for babies.

So, my musings, these are all important to me and if I knew then what I know now life would have been easier at times, but in saying that, its is what it is. It's perfect.

I think back to that time and the people I remember the most was firstly my amazing sister whose hand I bruised while kept me in the present and told me what to do and the divine Irish nurse, whose words still stay with me still.
6 hours after I had her, when I had finally summoned up the strength to visit her in ICU, the doctor ran over all the things that were wrong and what they were doing to help her. As I could barely stand let alone comprehend, and I was young to have a baby, I nodded then wept in nurses arms. She rubbed my back and said to me in her wonderful lilting accent, " But look at her eyebrows, they are a movies stars eyebrows and she will be thanking God later for them when she is a lady!"
Thank you whoever you are, you was an angel that night and I needed to hear about how special I thought she was.

And she was right, she does have the most divine eyebrows!