Incredible, bizarre dreams last night, after doing a tarot reading for the symbols of my year ahead. Interesting things came up for me and I am certainly more mindful of my priorities and what I want to achieve this year. I asked a friend last night what her plans were for the year and she told me about her husband and her children but didn't mention her own plans, when I questioned her again about her own plans she struggled and I thought about all the women who struggle to be heard, to allow themselves to live out their own dreams and goals and hopes. Somewhat hard when you don't know what they are though, take some time to allow yourself to have possibilities in life.
I read once that women should have three lives: one to live for their partner, one to live only for their children and one where they live completely for themselves.
I think about that all the time and try to be present when I am in the moment with all of these triple pleasures. It is hard but not impossible.
When The Good Doctor came to stay recently she marveled to me how I could sit in front of the TV at night with my laptop on my knee but when the changelings or Gandalf needed me I was right there. It was not hard for me to be with each task or person 100% and then I would go back to my laptop and be back in that completely. This does not make me more special or gifted, it is something that I have had to master but now I don't feel guilt now that anything is suffering from my lack of attention. What you put your attention on grows, so I divide my attention equally wherever possible, this means that things grow at the same time, albeit slower than me focussing on one thing at a time but still all the time, progress is made.
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