This afternoon, after an overwhelmingly exciting and amazing weekend, where Gandalf and I made a long held dream come true, a cloud of despair wrapped around me. I didn't want to go to work tomorrow. This feeling grabbed me by my heart and I became tired with the burden of responsibility.
I felt like a fraud. Have I not been the poster girl for working with Spirit in business? Yet here I was feeling angry and without passion for the business which I have loved and nurtured.
Thinking long and hard I placed myself on the imaginary shrinks couch and self diagnosed.
Inital diagnosis:
1) No holiday in 2 years. Never a wise decision to martyr yourself. You will end up tired, stressed, unwell and not at all helpful to your business.
2) I got caught up in the small stuff. There is an old saying, 'The main thing is to make sure that the main thing is the main thing.' This year I have constantly been distracted from the vision by small details. These details have taken so much of my time that I did not keep 'the main thing' in mind. The main thing for me is to create a successful business that I enjoy going to each day.
3) Not having or making any time to learn. This year I have been caught up in writing an book, running a business and managing a household. The year before, when I started this blog I dedicated myself to learning. This year, I didn't make time to actively learn and so the Universe thought it best that I learn on the job. We never stop learning but sometimes it is best choose your learning instead of trial by fire as I have discovered over the last 12 months.
I am nearly there, I only have 3 days left of work, but as I near the finish line I am dragging my feet. Each step seems like I am pulling my leg from quicksand. Fishgirl says this is my Scorpio year, next year will be more Capricorn. This year will be soon be finished. I will honour the next 3 days and then I will enjoy my time off to regenerate.
I look forward to my holiday where I shall spend time with my beloved Gandalf and precious changelings. Talking about our new house, our plans for our business, our future, recharging from loving each other.
Bring it on, bring it on, bring it on.
1 comment:
Dear DW, i'm sure when you come back from the holiday you will pop in to the Mojo shop and it will be there, ready and waiting. You have worked so hard this year and it's only natural that, in the seasons and cycles of things, you just need to flop for a bit!
Enjoy the summer. I hereby give you permission to give yourself a break!!!
xx
fishgirl
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